The HOW over the WHAT.Womens Day thoughts.

8 th March has been officiated as International Women’s Day for a long time,perhaps to bring to the forefront ,the everyday woman ,who let’s her man shine,and maybe celebrate a little bit of what she means to mankind.That is behind every successful man stand an even more successful woman.

Women have been carrying the fruit of fertility for ages,men on the other hand have never been blessed to get pregnant or bear children,had mental cycles or been exposed to family pressures of producing children.Yet on most days I don’t blame the men,but our same women who change the way our society thinks.

I work in routine and emerency duties at my hospital ,and perhaps the real place to actually know the plight of today’s woman is the labour room.No matter the amount of education or the knowledge that a woman of today learns you know her thinking only here,in few silent words,but those spoken unmaliced and from the heart.We have young to middle age women all coming for deliveries but,as an anesthesiologist I get only the few patients coming in for a section or in lay man’s words a cut to deliver the baby.
Nine months of carrying another soul in your womb,nine months of hearing another’s heartbeat and nine months of having the opportunity to influence someone’s life.I would think women are fortunate to recieve this opportunity.Alas the minute the baby is out the mothers question usually is “what did I get?” It isn’t an exam of course,but the way the mothers answer does make it seem like that!!.After all wouldn’t a healthy baby of any gender so long as it’s healthy bring joy to the family? For us doctors who are taught to understand the complicated process of growth from cellular to a true macroscopic level,from anatomy in first year to obstetrics in final year,we know that having a healthy mother and baby at the end of nine months should be a blessing to anyone wanting to conceive.Yet in some cases this doesn’t even bring joy to the one carrying her for the last nine months of pregnancy.

If the surgeon says it’s a boy,most mothers say,” Lovely!,I’ve wanted one for so long/it’s my fourth after three girls!so yay!”. Yet if it’s a girl the same mother sighs with the utmost unpleasantness,as if she delivered a snake ,makes a face of disgust and says “Oh no!not again! ”

Everytime I get a mother like this,my blood boils,to me the baby born weighed a good weight,cried at birth,is healthy to boot,this alone should make her feel grateful and pleased with the result.After all it’s her own blood,she’s shared a life with her until now,why  have such disgust towards the innocent newborn’ her’? Isn’t she a girl/a woman  herself first?

These opinions voiced with honesty first,then change in the next few minutes to that of minimum happiness,since some women fall to pressures of society and stoic,old minded mother in law’s,who think that only a son can bring fortune to their families.They bully an ill,high risk mother to sacrifice their own health in order to make so called superiors happy,in the process sacrificing thier own health.The fact to be thought about is that hasn’t the gender been decided way way before the actual nine months? This boy/girl dilemma was predecided, vetoed on nine months before,at the time of conception perhaps aligned with the stars and planets,and the human body to decide what the mother was to recieve.

I’m glad though to get to meet the ‘once in a blue moon’ kind of  mother’s who instead of asking ‘what’? Ask the most important question.’How is the baby? ‘ And if it’s a baby girl the happiness seen on their faces is one to be envious of.

The roots of education don’t decide how many degrees you’ve gained,neither the awards in your prized showcase at home.Your education is admired and acknowledged when you don’t differentiate between men and women,boys and girls.Women aren’t a different species like reptiles and mammals,we are humans too,it’s just that perhaps that maybe they are the more stronger version of thier counterparts.

Women bear the monthly drama right from the time they hit adolescence,they bear children for nine months(have you carried even a pillow tied to your back for a day!),they go though hours of painful labour to produce thier creation into this world to which both partners should bear their responsibility,they stay up nights cleaning and caring for their children,stay hungry to feed their offsprings first,eat last even with their favourite meal on the dinner table,stand by their partners griefs and hardships,selling thier most prized possessions to keep a safety cover at home,yet when it comes to appreciating another woman either in the form of thier daughter in law or a granddaughter they seldom do so,and fail miserably by not doing so.

Today is a day I remember my strong grandmother’s,I applaude my super-strong mother,my brave sister,my kind teachers ,my gracious staff in the hospital for just being women.Strong pillars of strength that keep families together,make the workplace a little more motherly,and form the sensitive support system we need in our hard times.

What needs to change everyday is our thinking,to bring India forward,begin equality from grass root level,from your homes,the next time someone is born don’t ask the horrible what! But the how? It shows maturity and care ,and makes you someone that even mother earth could be proud of.


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